job interviewer: so…tell me a little about yourself :)
me: sure. i’m a virgo, INTJ, i love tank tops oh my god did you see the Anaconda video? that changed my life!
interviewer: bitch me too! the fuck. you got the job

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and, if you can’t get toasted pearl Couscous handpicked and blessed by a Moroccan shaman on the first tuesday of the winter harvest for your Sautéed Escarole then store bought is fine


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instead of counting sheep at night, count the number of times you can repeat “my life is dope and i do dope shit” before drifting into dreams full of kanye level self-confidence

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You are so brave and quiet I forget you are suffering.

Ernest Hemingway (via aurelle)

My mom said this to me two months ago…about a week after my dog died unexpectedly.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, losing your best friend, your furry companion after a long life is hard enough. But when you see him looking at you with those big brown eyes wagging his tail and licking your arm, and four hours later he’s in the veterinary emergency room being diagnosed with an incurable, undetected, aggressive form of cancer and your only option is euthanasia, well that, that is the biggest loss you’ll ever face in your life. It’ll be harder than anything you’ve had to do up to that point in your life, and trust me, please trust me when I tell you that if you choose euthanasia over chemotherapy with a life expectancy of only 6-9 months after, you are doing the right thing. And please please please talk to someone about it. Even if you get all snotty-nosed and you feel even worse after, just talk to somebody. I didn’t, couldn’t even form sentences for a week and wouldn’t talk to anyone and I wish I had. And don’t you dare let anyone on this god forsaken earth tell you that you’re being too emotional over your pet. He was your best fucking friend for almost 10 years and was the only constant thing in your life so if someone tells you to suck it up you tell them to go fuck themselves because grieving is grieving, no matter who it is for.
And most importantly, remind yourself every single day that one day you’ll be okay, even if today is not that day.

(Source: wordsnquotes)

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we all have a favorite eyebrow

(Source: fzur)

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I got some McDonalds and it costed $6.66 and my cashier said “oh lawd can you order some extra sauce or somtin gawd has been good to me that number is for da devil or somtin”

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Nineteen things I’ve learned before I turned nineteen.
1. Always carry $5 and a lighter with you (even if you don’t smoke).
2. Ask every person you meet how their day is going. Genuinely ask with the soul intention of learning how their day is. Ask the coffee shop employee. Ask the person next to you in line at Walmart. Ask your distant friend. Ask everyone.
3. Take many photos of yourself. Take photos of yourself when you’re happy. Take photos of yourself when you’re sad. Take photos of yourself because there are millions of trees in the world, and we all look at the same sky, but there is only one of you.
4. Stay in contact with your parents. Try not to hate them. They are the reason you have the ability to feel anything at all. Try not to hate your parents.
5. Opening your skin will not set your demons free. Open your heart. Open your mind. Open your hands.
6. Nobody knows anybody completely. That’s okay.
7. Be gentle, but be aggressive. Take a stand. Nobody hears your voice if you stay silent.
8. Respect everybody. We are all humans trying to survive. We all deserve respect.
9. Wearing black will ALWAYS make you feel better about yourself.
10. Always give tips, whether it be a couple extra dollars or a piece of mind. You never know how much you could be helping someone.
11. Change is the only thing consistent in life. Do not allow that bother you. Embrace chance and move with life, whichever direction it chooses to take you.
12. Smile often. Smile at strangers. Smile at your friends. Smile when nobody is looking and you’re alone in your bedroom. Smile when somebody is rambling to you.
13. Body image means nothing. Your body is merely just a seatbelt in the car. Your body is here to protect you. You choose the direction you go, and your body will not hold you back. Only you can hold yourself back.
14. Don’t hold grudges. Don’t allow yourself to hate anybody. Forgive them. Learn to love them for the person you never got to see them to be. Believe that a beautiful human exists in that person. Wish them well.
15. Drink orange juice. Lot’s of it.
16. Don’t allow the opinions of others to choose your destiny. We are all simply trying to live our own life.
17. Sing all the time. Sing off key. Sing in a silly voice. Sing like you’re on stage. Sing no matter who is around. Singing is breathing for the soul. Sing.
18. Take time to think. Write your feelings down. Write letters to the people you love. Texting is overrated and not as heartfelt as a nice handwritten letter.
19. Live for yourself. Breathe for yourself. Do everything in your life for nobody but you. This is your life. This is it.
― (via helpfvl)

Damn I wish I knew these when I was 19.

(Source: thinly)

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